Pedophiles call for equity, launch political party

Because "a ban just makes children curious": Dutch pedophiles are launching a political party to push for a cut in the legal age for sexual relations to 12 from 16 and the legalization of child pornography and sex with animals, sparking widespread outrage. The Charity, Freedom and Diversity (NVD) party said on its Web site it would be officially registered Wednesday . . . *cue doom music* Toddlers should be given sex education and youths aged 16 and up should be allowed to appear in pornographic films and prostitute themselves. Sex with animals should be allowed although abuse of animals should remain illegal, the NVD said. I'm so confused right now and perhaps that's a good sign.

Cervical cancer vaccine approved

In a rare moment of comprehensive health policy, the FDA is slated to approve a vaccine that blocks most viruses that cause cervical cancer. The drug protects against the two types of human papillomavirus, or HPV, which scientists believe is responsible for 70 percent of cervical cancer cases. It also protects against two other viruses that cause 90 percent of genital warts. All four viruses are sexually transmitted. Frankly, I am outraged that our government would promote obvious reasons to engage in flagrant sexual promiscuity. What happened to abstinence? This moral indecency must be challenged.

Chivalry: Good for sexual connections

Usually I wouldn't give bad writing/reportage this kind of play, but this is too great to pass up. Laura Berman, a couples therapist in Chicago and frequent contributor to the Chicago Sun-Times, warns us of a frightening epidemic: We get offered a seat or have a door politely opened for us and -- watch out! -- we say no thank you, I am as strong and capable as you are. Though as women we don't want to be patronized, saying no to chivalry may have some unintended effects on our personal lives. Eek gads! Oh, Dr. Berman, pray tell. What grave consequences would befall me if I held the door? It all becomes so clear in the last sentence . . . The problem we never saw coming is that equal power and equal everything has a way of diminishing our sexual connection with each other. Bam! El fin. And if you can't clearly see how challenging chivalry decreases sexual connection between heterosexual couples (oh, you didn't think she'd ever address anything less, did you?) then you're just insane. Downright dense. Go read something vile to satiate your feminine ineptitude, you freakish manhater.

The Age of Aids

The first episode of the PBS Frontline special on AIDS airs Tuesday, May 30 (today) and will continue Wednesday. Don't miss what should be a critical examination of the thirty year pandemic. Newsweek (I know, I know) recently issued an AIDS special issue that has a lot of information as well.

MisFortune500 is here!

Oh babies, the time has finally come: MisFortune500 is here. That little organization that employs me is behind this mega-rad web resource and I hope that you use it, abuse it (no pun intended), and pass it along for others to enjoy. Check out the site to find profiles of MisFortune 500 companies, news stories from around the world, policy information related to corporate accountability, trade, investment and human rights, good practices, current actions, resources and more . . . Get involved! Big ups to my homegirl Nadia--the well-paid worker behind it all.

After three years of war, Americans still can't find Iraq

63% of Americans aged 18-24 cannot identify Iraq or Afghanistan on a map. Perhaps it's time to divert government funding from defense and global dominance to EDUCATION REFORM. Get a map, people.

Laura Bush calls herself feminist . . .

. . . and hell freezes over. she declared [her feminism] confidently on a Mother's Day morning political show citing her efforts to promote women's education and rights in the Middle East. While her pronouncement invokes apocolyptic visions, it does beg the more serious question of whether or not someone can call themselves feminist and be against reproductive freedom. In a response, Nora Ephron wrote, Laura Bush isn't a feminist. You can't be a feminist if you don't believe in a woman's right to choose. The paradox is nothing new, as groups like Feminists for Life have long existed, but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around the idea that you can simultaneously believe in a woman's rights to her own life and the idea that she can't make decisions for herself. No dice.

It's official: English is unifying language.

The senate met today and agreed to make English the national language. Oh wait, let's go with "unifying language" (we wouldn't want to make the wrong impression what with all the fences and the neighbors and what not). This is what they do instead of fixing the hundreds of crises currently plaguing this god-forsaken nation. This country's government is completely incompetent.

Military recruitment invades your lunch.

The U.S. military are constantly hatching new ways to lure recruits. Most recently they've taken to putting pro-military recruitment messages on paper bags that were distributed to bodegas all over Brooklyn. The Friends of William Blake--an NYC activist-artist collective--decided to print their own bags for counter-recruitment.

Pre-pregnant: Because women are destined to birth.

A new report issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention--a federal government program, mind you--on women's health suggests that all women capable of conceiving children should consider themselves pre-pregnant. . . . regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon. The recommendations aim to "increase public awareness of the importance of preconception health" and emphasize the "importance of managing risk factors prior to pregnancy," said Samuel Posner. Holy fuck! And we thought the days of thinking of women as sperm receptacle, baby incubators were over! Nay, my friend. Perhaps this is just a semantic problem: The MAN says pre-pregnant, I say homophobic, mysogynistic, fucked up government reproductive control. Thanks to Sarah (an unworthy, childless slut).

The sponge returns!

Hard at work flipping through this week's issue of New York, I catch a creepy article proclaiming that "The Today Sponge is tomorrow's birth control." Wasn't that the same sponge that Elaine was hording stockpiles of on Seinfield?!? Who uses the sponge? What's the deal with that?!? Em and Lo, who pen weekly sex advice on their website, pronounce the spongeworthiness of it all: . . . we can definitely see the sponge’s appeal. Recent studies have shown that the birth-control pill can sap some women’s libidos long-term, and the patch may cause life-threatening blood clots. ... “The Pill wrecked my skin, made me feel bloated, and changed the texture of my hair,” says M.G., an “old school” sponge user who’s thrilled about its comeback. Beth, a new mother who was on the Pill pre-pregnancy but who’s been using the sponge while breast-feeding, says, “Now that I have been off the hormones for almost two years, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to putting those chemicals in my body again.” I don't know if I'm ready to push that puppy up into my stuff, but they definitely make a case for this semen super-soaker. (Sorry.)

Gothamist interviews Jessica Valenti, Feministing editor

Feminist bitch extraordinaire (and I mean that in the BEST way possible), Jessica Valenti, gets interviewed by Gothamist. The executive editor of Feministing.com, this girl is clever, irrereverent, and a super mouth (and brain) for the movement.

Conscious consumerism

While conscious consumerism may be an oxymoron for some, I would gladly spend my cash on this top. A way to simultaneously bring attention to the atrocity of domestic violence and challenge what is likely one of the most fucked up names given to an article of clothing. If dropping cash isn't your politics, you can easily DIY this clever and necessary message onto any old tank top ya got.