Lord and the Ring

Proudly showing off the ring on her finger, Katie McMunn stated: "I want to give all of my body to my husband," Ms. McMunn said. The ring is a symbol of her committment to abstinence until marriage and the 17 year-old girl is merely one of hundreds of thousands of young people making similar vows throughout the country. Believe it or not, I used to wear a ring too (not the good, contraceptive kind either). And as a one time card-carrying member (literally) of the True Love Waits campaign, I can attest to the inadequacy of the program. I embody the statistic of the young, willing abstinence-only believer who--provided with very little relevant information regarding contraception and rights--was more preoccupied with the feelings of guilt that accompanied young sexual desire (or at least a hardcore need to be accepted). Years after "losing" my membership to the chastity club, I realized that despite having grown up in a very open family, my life in the Baptist church* and inevitable commitment to abstinence, had profoundly affected my bedroom behavior along with understandings of my body and sexuality. The ring and commitment card did very little to assuage my desires and my eventual actions, but they did provide feelings of shame and guilt for having gone against Jesus and my beliefs. And while I have since checked all my Baptist baggage, I find it frustrating that this campaign of mis-information persists. Young people need relevant, life-saving knowledge about their bodies, contraception, STDs, and pregnancy before they are made to feel committed to their future husbands and wives (I won't even get into the disgusting heteronormativity of it all . . . any takers?!). The desire to be liked plays a huge factor in both young people's sex lives and their commitment to abstinence, but until we empower young people to actually like themselves, a lot of lives and silver will be lost. *An article profiling the church in which I grew up and True Love Waits, a national abstinence-only campaign.